wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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