So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
