absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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