I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
