I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
