Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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