Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize