The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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