I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
