Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
