The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
