apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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