quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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