I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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