It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
