the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize