Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
