What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
