Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize