You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
