Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
