Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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