i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
