she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
