I got chris browned last night
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He has the fingertips of a God
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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