stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
