Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
