Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize