Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Can Purell be used as lube?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
