now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize