planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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