So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
