My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
