I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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