id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
