What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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