I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
