Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
