Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
false alarm. still invincible.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
