He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
