Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
NoShamevember. You game?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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