That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
