I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
