Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
