so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
