i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
