How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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