Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
