Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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