I'm really into asian looking animals
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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