U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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