I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
