reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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