We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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