Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
