Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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