jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
