3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
