I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
