Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he fucked my hip out of place.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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