I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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