i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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