my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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