Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
