It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
