When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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