she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
