He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
