she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
