I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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