Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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