he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
