i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
