how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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