yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
