I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
