It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
