I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
