She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize