I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
