dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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