youre lurking in front of me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
